Jewish Culture

OBLOXIOUS – The Wednesday Wordapod

Today’s (The Wednesday) Wordapod – OBLOXIOUS – is all about overeating…and Aunt Sadie’s brunches. Can you relate?

 

Obloxious

Obloxious (adj) pertaining to a very offensive, ostentatious spread of smoked salmon

Sample Sentence:  Much as I used to love Aunt Sadie’s Sunday brunches, I came to feel guilty eating such obloxious amounts when I knew that people were starving just a few miles away.

You Know What…?

Judith Tasselberg, author of Obloxious Brunches and Other Family Lore (2008:  Schmaltz Press), had this to say on the subject:

“I recall every other Sunday in Yonkers at Aunt Gertie’s with my parents, two older brothers and all of my cousins. There would usually be 19 of us at Gertie and Sol’s immense mahogany table, 20 if you counted Sniffles, the Maltese. We looked forward to playing all kinds of kiddy games, and embarrassing each other in our own dastardly little ways.

So, what about the food, you ask?  There were enough bagels, and enough mountains of lox and hills of cream cheese, to feed 200 lumberjacks. Obloxious indeed!”

 Wordapodia, Vol. 1

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To get your own signed copy of Wordapodia, Volume One: An Encyclopedia of Real Fake Words, please follow the links or simply email me:  Matt@tipofthegoldberg.com

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PARKING LOTKE – The Wednesday Wordapod

As Chanukah concludes, today’s (The Wednesday) Wordapod celebrates Boris-Yuri Fedorov, one of the brave men who gave us the “parking lotke.”

 

PARKING LOTKE

Parking Lotke (n) a potato pancake, often eaten during Chanukah, which is consumed at an outdoor location

Who Knew…?

The parking lotke, like a lot of traditional foods associated with the Jewish religion, started as a necessity, but continued because of tradition and commerce. I discussed this with the eminent Russian Jewish scholar, Boris-Yuri Fedorov.

Matt:  Mr. Fedorov? Or should I call you—

Boris-Yuri:  If please, my friends call me Basha.

Matt:  Basha, the former Soviet Union was quite repressive to Soviet Jews. How were you able to keep your traditions alive?

Boris-Yuri: In former Soviet Union, Jews not allowed to pray freely. We convene together in parking lots outside synagogue to partake in some parking lotkes and borscht.

Matt: For the benefit of some of my readers, what is borscht?

Boris-Yuri:  Borscht Eastern European soup taste like paint thinner. But add some sour cream, and you’ve got something.

Matt:  So, where did you used to convene?

Boris-Yuri:  Was hard to celebrate with my people in those times in Moscow. We meet discreetly behind abandoned Politburo building. Natasha and Anatoly light menorah, the men spin our frozen dreidels, and Olga Greenberg bring her beautiful golden brown parking lotkes. Was tasting great, and we never got caught.

Matt:  What was the toughest part of celebrating in this way?

Boris-Yuri: I think my friend, Viktor, is KGB agent.

Matt:  Why do you say that?

Boris-Yuri: That schlemiel never bring applesauce.

Thanks to the bravery of Basha and his friends, parking lotkes are now enjoyed throughout the world in all kinds of weather, in total freedom—and with applesauce.

Wordapodia, Vol. 1

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To get your own signed copy of Wordapodia, Volume One: An Encyclopedia of Real Fake Words, please follow the links or simply email me:  Matt@tipofthegoldberg.com

To order my new-ish (co-authored) book, please click here or send me an email for a personalized copy.

I know you're not usually a follower, but I hope you'll soon follow me on Twitter.

My Facebook Fan page is right here.

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MENORAHTY – The Wednesday Wordapod

Today’s (The Wednesday) Wordapod asks:  So, what would YOU call the small percentage of the US (let alone the world) population that Jews comprise?

Happy Chanukah to all!

MENORAHTY

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Crap I Think of While Mowing the Lawn – #22

 

(other than This Lawn Looks Like Crap)

 

 

Interesting, if not always deep, thoughts often pop into my head while I’m doing battle with my lawn. And yes, I do battle with a non-gas, non-electric, old-fashioned push mower. An actual reel mower. And my mind tends to think of some semi-interesting crap while I push along.

Welcome to Volume 22 of Crap I Think of While Mowing the Lawn.

 

THE FAST COUNTDOWN

They tell me today is October 6, 2014. There are, apparently, 80 more shopping days till Christmas. For those interested, there are 71 more days—shopping and otherwise—till Chanukah. And not to bury my lead:

There are now 351 eating and sinning days until the next Yom Kippur. Really?

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YOM KIPPURIM – The Wednesday Wordapod

The Wednesday Wordapod is …

(Note: You don’t have to be Jewish to appreciate this one, but it may help. Enjoy, and continued Happy/Healthy/Fulfilling New Year to you and your families!)

 

YOM KIPPURIM

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PARKING LOTKE – Wednesday’s Wordapod

As the last night of Chanukah approaches, we bask in the semi-healthy flavors of our…parking lotkes? Or do we: Find out all about this seasonal Wordapod.

If you like “Parking Lotke”, you will love the 250-plus creative Wordapods to be found in Wordapodia, Volume One: An Encyclopedia of Real Fake Words. 

 

W-podia

 

Parking Lotke

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CHAN-GIVING – Wednesday’s Wordapod

Chan-giving??

 

Tonight, we celebrate what many (too many?) are calling Thanksgivukkah, the convergence of Chanukah and Thanksgiving. It is a really cool thing that the two holidays coincide. Apparently this is the only time that the holidays (Chanukah starts in the evening with, if you will, Thanksgiving’s Eve) will do this for billions and billions of years. And yes, the mathematical proof eludes me.

W-podia

 

If you like “Chan-giving”, you will love the 250-plus creative Wordapods to be found in Wordapodia, Volume One: An Encyclopedia of Real Fake Words. 

 

Chan-giving 

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Thankgivukkah, Et Cetera

Thanksgiving, Et Cetera

 

Tomorrow evening, we celebrate what many (too many?) are calling Thanksgivukkah, the convergence of Chanukah and Thanksgiving. It is a really cool thing that these two joyous holidays coincide like this. I am already salivating thinking about all of the turkey, latkes (potato pancakes), sweet potato, pumpkin pie and fried doughnuts that I am about to ingest. Which is a lot to digest. But I digress.

 

Apparently, this is the only time that the holidays (Chanukah starts tomorrow evening along with, if you will, Thanksgiving’s Eve) will come together for billions and billions of years. And while the mathematical proof eludes me, suffice it for me to write that while the 2013 Thanksgiving falls on its latest possible date, this year’s Chanukah falls on its very earliest date. And yes, the Jewish calendar adds whole months every so often to even out all of those solar-lunar discrepancies. In other words, you do the math.

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CHALLAHLUJAH – Wednesday’s Wordapod

This Wednesday’s Wordapod is especially for those about to celebrate Rosh Hashanah with some delicious braided bread. Challahlujah is one of over 250 creative Wordapods to be found in Wordapodia, Volume One: An Encyclopedia of Real Fake Words. 

 

 

Challahlujah

 

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So…What’s My Problem?

 

 

two-men-talkingEarlier today, I went to the local post office, and immediately noticed two things. One: the line was much shorter than usual. Two: A woman was using a table to assemble her package. A man, holding a key, asked if he could get through to access one of the mailboxes. She made a little room for him and when he was done, he said, “Sorry.” Her reply: “No problem.”

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The Matzo Switcheroo

Matzo

 

Just read an interesting article. 100 people were blindfolded and asked to try a new type of regular white matzo. They weren't told that the box was made out of matzo and the "matzo" was made out of cardboard:

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Passover Snow and Other Questions

The holiday of hope, eternal Spring and extreme tradition is starting in a few hours and …it’s snowing?

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Purim: Drinks, Eats, Writings and a New Top 10

Happy Purim, everyone.

hamantashen

 

 

For those not very familiar with this holiday—especially my non-Jewish friends and readers—don’t feel too bad. It’s not quite as well known as Rosh Hashanah, Chanukah or Passover, nor should it be, I guess.

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Ryan, Kinsler and the Youk

Yesterday, I started a new gig, writing for a start-up company/website called www.jewocity.com.

 

 

We are at the beginning stages of, hopefully, creating something that will be successful and a lot of fun, but I do not wish to overstate or understate my contributions.

 

The site is not my baby. I am sure that its owner, Shai, has put in a ton of time, effort and money to launch it—the largest online Jewish Business Directory. I wish it every success and hope that my contributions will be valuable, valued and rewarded over time. While a paid gig, there is certainly a high element of sweat equity on my part as well.

 

So, what am I sweating and schvitzing about? The kind of stuff that I love doing, which is similar to what I have been doing, if ever-so-slightly targeted for a more specific (although I am sure, diverse in its own way) audience. In true Tip of the Goldberg-style, I hope to inspire laughs, smiles and just enough wisdom, even if most of my writing will be as light and fluffy as a good matzo ball.

 

 

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