Crap I Think of While Mowing the Lawn – #11

Crap I Think of While Mowing the Lawn

Volume 11

(other than This Lawn Looks Like Crap)


Interesting, if not deep, thoughts often pop into my head while I’m doing battle with my lawn. And yes, I do battle with a non-gas, non-electric, old-fashioned push mower. An actual reel mower. And my mind tends to think of some semi-interesting crap while I push along.


Mower and Statesman

Welcome to Volume 11 of Crap I Think of While Mowing the Lawn.




The other day (Which one? Who cares.) I was thinking about some trite, hackneyed sayings and how I, in turn, might hack them. Here are some that come to mind. Enjoy!  Call them, if you will,… Matt-isms? Maybe?


Do you ever get a third chance to make a second impression?


Time flies when you haven’t accomplished anything.


Insanity and delusion is using the same famous quote (not yours) over and over again and expecting others to be impressed.


A fate worse than death is only possibly for one who is feeling suicidal.


A skunk by any other name will still smell okay if it has a good sense of smell, or irony.


A wolf in sheep’s clothing needs a good tailor.


I couldn’t get a word in edgeways, and then felt better, because why would I even want to?


Many things come quicker to he who butts in line.


Has anyone ever done that without being there? Why don’t they do “this” instead?


Didn’t beggars choose to be beggars?  (I intended that not for those who are truly poor, but for those who truly con.)


And, as a final note, I’d like to say (that) At the start of the day, I’ll start thinking inside the box. How about you?



To get  your own signed copy of Wordapodia, Volume One: An Encyclopedia of Real Fake Words, please follow the links or simply email me:

To order my new-ish (co-authored) book, A Snowball’s Chance, please click here or send me an email for a personalized copy.

I know you're not usually a follower, but I hope you'll soon follow me on Twitter.

My Facebook Fan page is right here



Comments are closed.