Insecure Connections – a 30 Minute Rant

Let me come right out and state the obvious. I don’t really understand how I fit in to this whole world of self-promotion, friending, following and linking.


It’s bad enough that I’m a technophobe, but one of my dualities is being both outgoing, yet very private—almost to the point of secrecy.



It took me forever to finally put up this Tip of the Goldberg website, and now I’m blogging, and even tweeting, linking-in and being open to virtual friends. And yes, at this point, in Facebook-speak, I virtually have no friends. What else is new?



As a writer and speaker, I have been strongly advised to take advantage of modern technology and social media, and for the least week, I’ve been trying. God knows, I’ve been trying.


In my most desperate, vainest moments, I feel that I’m a world-class talent that almost nobody knows or reads. I have to utilize all these free tools of the modern age. But can I do so without becoming a tool in the process? And can I do it within my own personality and comfort zone and still spread the word—and the laughs, smiles and wisdom I set out to promote?



As the author of All That Twitters is Not Goldberg, one of my columns had me setting up a Twitter account just to see what all the fuss was all about. Why condemn something that I hadn’t even tried. I almost got hooked then (well, I stopped at two tweets and two followers, both of whom have stopped following), and almost see myself getting Twitterized anew as I write.



Frankly, my analogy which reveals my duality of thought on this is:  I hate that my neighbors—who I don’t really know or like—are having a party, but how dare they not invite me? The unmitigated gall of them!



So, I’m trying to party, without telling every single person about every single key I hit. And I know that I can set privacy settings, but I just don’t get it.



Take Facebook, for example. Please.  I finally bit the proverbial bullet and joined this week, and don’t really know what I’m doing. I have six friends (including my wife…hmmm) and my policy, for now, is to only accept invites, not initiate them.


In the last week, it’s been surreal to see messages on my profile page like “Matt Goldberg just changed his hometown”, or “Matt Goldberg is now friends with ___ ___”…when, hopefully, we’ve been friends for 30-plus years. “Matt Goldberg sent a message prematurely because the dumb ass hit the enter key by mistake.”



I also have problems with all the public, TMI-ish conversations going on, yet I’m starting to feed into it all.  It has me pondering whether all of us crave acceptance, or is it followers, friends and sheer numbers that we love. How secure are our connections? Does he who dies with the most followers win?



Perhaps, we’re all like Sally Field who infamously accepted her second Oscar in 1985, and said to the Academy and her fans, “You like me; you really, really, like me.”


Are we following, friending, trending or Field-ing out there?



Another thing I don’t really get is how LinkedIn, Facebook and Twitter all integrate into the same feed, or food, or meal…and I still don’t really understand what RSS is. Really Stupid Sh_t?  Nah…but I’m writing in real time here, and my 30 minutes is almost up.



So, sorry to parade my techno-ignorance in front of you, and I know that I’ll continue to make mistakes, like linking banners that I never even knew existed, liking my own creations (well, I do like most of ‘em), and mixing my followers with my friends, with my frenemies (don’t have any at the moment, but working on it) and my disciples.



And, while the truth-o-meter is still flashing, what Sally Field really said (in accepting her 1985 Oscar for Places in the Heart…I just double-checked this on Youtube) was more like, “…and I can’t deny the fact that you like me…right now…you like me.”



Two thoughts before my timer hits 0-0-0.



I have no life…I really, really have no life.


Maybe Sally’s key phrase there was right now, and that’s the key to the whole social media thing. Immediacy…before people change their mind.



And right now, I’ve gotta go and post this, tweet-tease it, and link some people in. And if you liked this, (or kind of like me), feel free to like, link, re-tweet and spread the word.



Maybe, I do lead a full life after all.


Wanna bet?


Thanks for reading. Please check out my other blogs, books, and speaking information.


And if you prefer, you may follow me on Twitter, which may just send you back here.






2 Responses to Insecure Connections – a 30 Minute Rant

  • admin says:

    Right now in this moment as a very serious blogger and social media networker  and in person networker, I have to say your crazy way of looking at all this stuff is just how a newbie would think. Hilarious and spot on! But be warned. This social media stuff is addictive and you are on your way to being one of the funnier social media converts out there!

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