Pastafari – Wednesday’s Wordapod

This Wednesday’s Wordapod is written for levity’s sake. Pastafari is one of over 250 creative Wordapods to be found in Wordapodia, Volume One: An Encyclopedia of Real Fake Words. 

 

 

Pastafari

 

Pastafari (n) a new spiritual movement whose followers adhere to the belief that pasta should be eaten for symbolic, religious, cultural and recreational reasons

 

You Know What…?

 

Before putting this book together, I had only heard a little bit about the Pastafari movement, and their followers—who prefer being called Pastas, as opposed to Pastafarians. I had the opportunity to sit down briefly with Pastafari scholar Tosh Kingsmon to clarify some aspects of their beliefs and culture.

 

Matt:  Tosh, how are you today, sir?

 

Tosh:  I prefer “Dr. Kingsmon”, or simply, the more respectful Mon. And yes, I am having a highly spiritual day.

 

Matt:  My mistake. I was only “Toshing” with you, Mon. I am confused about the difference between the Pastas and the Rastas. Do the Pastas also believe that Haile Selassie, the last Ethiopian Emperor, was the incarnation of God?

 

Tosh: We are more concerned about the end of repression and the joyful expression of life on earth, outside of the wicked influences of Babylon. Our spiritual founder was a man known to his followers simply as Haile Selective.

 

Matt:  C’mon, Mon, was that his real name? I haile doubt it.

 

Tosh:   I told you that he became known simply as Haile Selective; his real name was Buster Spillwood—not a name that screams leadership.

 

Matt: My bad, Mon. So, how does the eating of pasta tie in with your spiritual beliefs, and do you only eat a certain type of pasta?

 

Tosh:  We believe that the body—and not some brick-and-mortar Babylonian structure—is our temple. We do not corrupt our personal temples with alcohol, nor corrupt our minds with capitalism, racism and animosity. The eating of our post-ganja pasta is symbolic, religious and cultural. After partaking in the aroma and flavor of the cannabis, we are ready to eat lots of pasta to symbolize the togetherness of our people and our love for carbohydrates.

 

Matt:  So, what type of pasta do you consume at these ceremonies, and do you only eat it when high?

 

Tosh:  A Rasta does not use a razor or comb on his head, and we wear our hair, as you know, in dreadlocks. What did you ask me again, Mon?

 

Matt:  What type of pasta do you eat, and do you only eat it when high on life?

 

Tosh:  Our pasta mostly resembles our hair, and it is a spiritual combination of capellini, linguine and pizzoccheri. I am always high on life, mon, and that only increases my appetite.

 

Matt:  Of course, Mon. I notice the very catchy music in the background. Is that Peter Tosh?  Bob Marley?  Someone else?

 

Tosh:  No, that’s Louis Prima. I thought you would recognize him.

 

Matt:  So, you guys listen to Italian music when eating pasta?

 

Tosh:  I did it as a peaceful gesture to you because you’re Italian. Me? I listen to the classics like Tosh and Marley, and my friends and I also love this new rapper named Haile High.

 

Matt: Do you recommend him—even for me?

 

Tosh:  Haile, Mon.

 

Featured Image courtesy of theguardian.com

 

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