Wednesday’s Wordapod – Prognocrastination

Today’s Wordapod, taken from Wordapodia, Volume One: An Encyclopedia of Real Fake Words, is somewhat appropriate. This is the Wednesday Wordapod and it is Thursday. So they tell me; I’ll try to do better next week.

 

Prognocrastination

 

 

Prognocrastination (n) a prediction made after an event has already taken place

 

Please Note:  Prognocrastination sits (and sits and sits) at the intersection of prognostication and procrastination. I’d like to be able to tell you that prognocrastinators always get their predictions right, but please see below.

 

So…Who Knew?

 

Born in 1910, Harry Honto is still a prognocrastinator of some repute. The Manchester, New Hampshire journalist has achieved notoriety for making stunningly accurate predictions after the fact. Honto, nicknamed Hindsight Harry, insists that all of his prognocrastinations have come within one week of the event, and since the paper he writes for is published bi-weekly, he has never missed a deadline in 75 years. Below, as a special service to this edition, Harry recounts five of his most famous predictions, and even dares to look ahead.

 

1948 – Truman Defeats Dewey – “Right up against deadline, I called this one just days after the election. The Chicago Tribune famously blew this one with their “Dewey Defeats Truman” headline. Well, I got it right, got it on deadline, and was within five electoral votes of a perfect prognocrastination.”

 

1969 Miracle Mets Win the World Series –“Everyone had the Baltimore Orioles sweeping the World Series over the upstart Metropolitans, but they rushed to judgment. There was something about that Mets team that had me picking them just hours after they stunned the favored Orioles. One regret:  I had them winning in six, but they did it in five.”

 

1985 Coca-Cola Will Release “New Coke” Formula – “Some prognocrastinators still have not made this prediction, and it was quite shocking back in the day. Even now. I still have unopened cases of the stuff.”

 

1990 – Buster Douglas Upsets Mike Tyson – “The fight happened on February 11, in Japan, yet I got it right for our Valentine’s Day edition. Not only that, but within months of this fight, I prognocrastinated that Tyson would have a lot of personal issues, and possibly serve time in jail. I also said that Buster Douglas would be an all-time great champion, so you can’t win them all. Whatever happened to him, anyway?”

 

2001George W Bush Will Butcher the English Language – “I’m particularly proud of this one. Many of my colleagues claimed that W would go down in history as our most eloquent President. I begged to differ, and predicted that he would commit many malapropisms and various misstatements. Even his nucular family came to agree with me.”

 

Harry generously consented to go out on a limb (well, maybe out on a sturdy branch) and look ahead to 2010 and beyond with various predictions—in sports, politics and world trends.

 

Sports:  “A little known young golfer named Eldrick (Tiger) Woods will win a lot of majors, and will one day be considered one of the greatest golfers of all time…Roger Federer will break Pete Sampras’ Grand Slam career total…That Albert Pujols kid will be a good baseball player, and make an all-star team or two.”

 

Politics:  “Although I may not live to see it, there will be a woman President of the US, but an African-American man will get to the White House first.”

 

World Trends:  “While world population is decreasing, at least one million babies will be born worldwide next year.”

 

Thanks, Harry. You heard it here first—sort of.

 

Prognocrastination is one of over 250 real, fake words to be found in Wordapodia, Volume One. Wednesday’s Wordapod was also a popular feature on jewocity.com from September, 2011 thru January, 2013.

 

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