Worley, Bastardo and the Stutes

The 2011 Phillies’ season was supposed to be one for the ages. With the re-acquisition of fan-favorite Cliff Lee, the Phils claimed (on paper) one of the greatest starting pitching rotations in baseball history.

 

To shorten the premise for this piece, three of the four aces have lived up to their billing, but tons of injuries could have derailed this season, if not for the three biggest surprises of this (or any recent) Phillies’ season—pitchers Vance Worley, Antonio Bastardo and Michael Stutes.

 

 

So, let’s sing their praises with a big assist from Terry Cashman’s Talkin’ Baseball.

 

 

 

 

Talkin’ Phillies

 

 

Brad Lidge is still unhealthy

Danys Baez stinks, though wealthy

Contreras and Fat Joe are feeling lame

Three of phour aces can’t be beat

Ryan Madson’s throwing heat

And half the Phillies’ regulars can’t find their game

 

We’re talkin’ Phillies

Chase Utley, Ryan Howard

Talkin’ Phillies

Can’t hit for any power

So who would save this season for the fans

To make good all those World Series plans

We turned to Worley, Bastardo and the Stutes

 

Well, Charlie’s not too happy

Our potent bats turned crappy

With injuries too frequent to ignore

Oswalt was in Ole Miss

Ibanez was getting dissed

And our once prodigious offense couldn’t even score

 

We’re talkin’ Phillies

Chase Utley, Ryan Howard

Talkin’ Phillies

Can’t hit for any power

Our much awaited season was in flames

Would Charlie or Amaro take the blame?

But we had Worley, Bastardo and the Stutes

 

So now, it’s the summer

And we still can’t find our lumber

And Worley seems to grant our every wish

But Jimmy’s starting to Roll

Victorino’s back playing ball

And Chooch keeps flashing fingers from behind the dish

 

We’re talkin’ Phillies

Chase Utley, Ryan Howard

Talkin’ Phillies

Can’t hit for any power

So who would save this season for the fans

To make good all those World Series plans

We turned to Worley, Bastardo and the Stutes

 

Worley, Bastardo and the Stutes (say “k”, say “k”, say “k”)

Worley, Bastardo and the Stutes (say “k”, say “k”, say “k”)

We’re talkin’ Worley, Bastardo and the Stutes (say “k”, say “k”, say “k”)

Worley, Bastardo and the Stutes (say “k”, say “k”, say “k”)

Say Worley, Bastardo and the Stutes …

 

As always, thank you for reading. Please check out my other books, blogs and speaking information.

 

Thanks to Terry Cashman for his (implicit) permission to parody his wonderful baseball classic. Please contact Matt@tipofthegoldberg.com if interested in referencing this new parody.

 

Please also find on Bleacher Report.

 

 

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