WTF: Waterfowl and WaterFUDGE!
As the author of Wordapodia, Volume One: An Encyclopedia of Real Fake Words, I have coined and adapted more than my fair share of words. More than 250 of them: a lot to count but easier if you own a copy, of course…
If you’re like billions of people worldwide who don’t own a copy, I will explain that my wordapods are used to parody a bit of everything—pop culture, sports, history, politics, the arts, food, religion and even wordplay, itself. My mind is just kind of wired (anagram for weird) that way and wordapods just kind of find me.
None of this is to say, or begin to suggest, that I am the first to pen a fake dictionary or encyclopedia. Such references have been around for a long time and even if Wordapodia sells millions or billions, they will continue to be written by others. If so, one would hope that these authors would not (unless compensating me dearly) call each coined word or phrase a wordapod, but I digress. Slightly.
How often have you written or said the real version of this, or abbreviated it?
All of us have lots of WTF moments in our daily lives and we certainly can find them in all the same areas that I like to parody: pop culture, sports, history, politics, the arts, food, religion and even wordplay, itself.
There just has to be a better, classier, less-utilized way to express this, so I will put the following into play. Now, the first is a word and the second exists as a two-word, um, entity. Let’s try it out with some of my real-life examples.
The Eagles just blew a 20-point lead to the Niners? Waterfowl?!
The Phillies—with my man, Cliff Lee, pitching—blew a 4-0 lead in Game 2 of a best-of-five NLDS? Waterfudge?!
It’s hard to get the cadence just right, as of course, the “F” is often said with an extra 50 or so decibels.
Cherry Hill raised property taxes again? WaterFOWL?!
Hey honey, now they say that taking more than 1,000 mg of Vitamin C with milk can make us more susceptible to cancer? WaterFudge?!
Whoa, my three-year-old is still up and it’s 1:37 in the morning?
Water…ah, good for him.
I’m beginning to feel just a little better about things, even after a day/night in which my Eagles and Phillies collapsed in front of their rabid hometown fans and the whole sports universe.
The Eagles? I’m just not bleeding as much green as usual these days, but I – eternally, internally and externally – bleed red for my Phillies.
Did I mention that they—with my man, Cliff Lee, pitching—blew a 4-0 lead in Game 2 of a best-of-five NLDS? Against a lousy Cards bullpen? At home…when they had the golden opportunity to take a 2-0 series lead?
Pass me the milk and Vitamin C.